


It’s Better to Burn Out than to Fade Away

by KaibaSlaveGirl34



Series: Yu-Gi-Oh Stories/Crossovers [73]
Category: Rock Music RPF, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Anime/Real Life Fusion, Community: comment_fic, Gen, Inspiration, Inspired by Music, Inspired by Real Events, POV First Person, Song: All Apologies, Suicide Notes, Wordcount: 100-2.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 12:10:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11874099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaibaSlaveGirl34/pseuds/KaibaSlaveGirl34
Summary: Yami reflects on Kurt Cobain, who committed suicide on April 5, 1994. Rated T just to be safe.





	It’s Better to Burn Out than to Fade Away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Harry2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harry2/gifts).



> Hey there, my fellow writers and readers.. :) Well, here’s a new Yu-Gi-Oh oneshot I cooked up one day. This is dedicated to the memory of Kurt Cobain, as well as his fans..
> 
> Disclaimer: Genius Kazuki Takahashi owns Yu-Gi-Oh. The lyrics to All Apologies by Nirvana belong to their respective owners. I own the fanfics that I cook up from time to time.

**It’s Better to Burn Out than to Fade Away**

The date was April 5, 1994. I couldn’t believe it. When I got the news, I was in shock. Kurt Donald Cobain, lead singer of the grunge band Nirvana, was gone. He had shot himself in the head with a shotgun.

 _How could this happen?_ I asked myself.

I, Yami Yugi, lowered my head in deep respect for Kurt, the flame of the candle I was cradling in my hands glowing. It was April 10, 1994 — the funeral for Kurt five days later. My amethyst eyes were filled with tears.

Kurt was so full of promise. He knew how to play a guitar. He had a daughter, Frances Bean. However, not even fatherhood couldn’t chase away those demons inside him.

Then as his widow Courtney Love spoke, I remembered the events of two days ago as though they had just happened centuries ago — or even yesterday..

* * *

It was April 8, 1994. I was walking over to the potted plant where the police had told me the suicide note was. I picked it up and read it. It said,

_To Boddah,  
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand._

_All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things._

_For example when we’re back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins, it doesn’t affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy._

_The fact is, I can’t fool you, any one of you. It simply isn’t fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100 % fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me, I do, but it’s not enough)._

_I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re gone. I’m too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child._

_On our last 3 tours, I’ve had a much better appreciation for all the people I’ve known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can’t get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative Pisces, Jesus man. Why don’t you just enjoy it? I don’t know!_

_I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm._

_And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can’t stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I’ve become.  
I have it good, very good, and I’m grateful, but since the age of seven, I’ve become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much, I guess._

_Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I’m too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don’t have the passion anymore, and so, remember, it’s better to burn out than to fade away._

_Peace, love, empathy.  
Kurt Cobain_

_Frances and Courtney, I’ll be at your alter._

_Please keep going Courtney, for Frances._

_For her life, which will be so much happier without me._

_I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!_

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes again as I walked up to Courtney. She looked at me.

“Hey, Yami,” she said.

Her voice was tinged with grief and tears. She had been reading parts of the suicide note.

My heart filled with grief and sadness also.

I would miss Kurt. He was, according to some, a nice guy who didn’t like fame. To be more precise, he had trouble adjusting to it.

_I wish I was like you_  
_Easily amused_  
_Find my nest of salt_  
_Everything is my fault_  
_I’ll take all the blame_  
_Aqua seafoam shame_  
_Sunburn with freezeburn_  
_Choking on the ashes of her enemy_

_All in all is all we are_  
_All in all is all we are_  
_All in all is all we are_  
_All in all is all we are_  
_All in all is all we are_  
_All in all is all we are..._

I know that Kurt Cobain is dead, but I also hope that he found the peace he never had in life. Some nights now, I come to the places where his ashes are scattered, and I light a candle. The flame flickers, and I remember — I remember his spirit. It will live on forever. I remember his music. It will not be forgotten.

_It’s better to burn out than to fade away._

I know I will never forget those words. They will stay with me in life, and maybe perhaps beyond death itself. Well, Kurt, I hope you found your Nirvana..

**Author's Note:**

> This is also in loving memory of Nirvana singer and guitarist Kurt Donald Cobain (February 20, 1967 — April 5, 1994). He was a musical genius, was talented at playing the guitar and died way too soon. He was 27 years old at the time of his death; may he rest in peace.
> 
> Nice feedback is very much appreciated, of course.. :)


End file.
